


Breathe No More

by hannahhoppers



Series: The CS Playlist [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Ficlet, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-14
Updated: 2016-10-14
Packaged: 2018-08-22 07:41:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8278082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahhoppers/pseuds/hannahhoppers
Summary: I've been looking in the mirror for so long, that I've come to believe my soul's on the other side.Based on the Evanescence song of the same name.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own the show or the characters, so I'm playing with them. Adam and Eddy have such nice toys. Unbeta'd. Kudos and comments if you enjoy!

_I've been looking in the mirror for so long,_

_That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side._

 

Mirrors had always been like friends to her. Even when she had nobody she could turn to, a looking glass was dependable. Never judged, always told the truth, never a cruel word for her. So through foster home after foster home, in seedy motels and gas station bathrooms, she always looked to the mirror for help. Her reflection became a confidante. As years passed, she started to view this other version of herself as perfect. Other Emma had a family, didn’t resort to stealing to get by at the tender age of 17. Other Emma was loved. Each time she looked in the mirror, a little fragment of her soul escaped behind the glass, joined Other Emma until Emma herself began to feel like an empty shell. She began to hate the vivacious, soulful girl shown before her. 

 

_All the little pieces falling, shatter._

_Shards of me,_

_Too sharp to put back together._

 

On her 27th birthday, she stared at her for a long time before picking up a hairdryer and throwing it. Mirror shards flew everywhere, scraped her skin and tore her dress. Once the clinking had stopped, she opened her eyes and caught sight of her best friend, herself, shattered on the floor. Involuntarily, she reached out to take a piece in her hand, the jagged edge of it bit into her fingertip. 

 

_Too small to matter,_

_But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces,_

_If I try to touch her._

 

The fragment clattered back to the floor, a fat droplet of blood marring the sliver of image it showed. A tear slid down her cheek at the sight. It felt as if she were the one who’d been shattered.

 

_Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well._

_Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child._

 

Several years later, she met one Killian Jones in a pawn shop. She’d reached for a gold compass at the same time he had, and they’d been left with an awkward situation which ended in her purchasing the bauble and agreeing to a date. Two years after that, they were engaged, and she was putting off wedding dress shopping for as long as possible. Since the night where she’d shattered Other Emma, she’d avoided mirrors whenever she could. 

 

Relaxing on the couch one night, he asked, “Have you picked out your dress yet?”

 

“No,” she hummed.

 

“Why not?” She was about to fudge some answer about how she didn’t know what she wanted yet, or how there were more important things to worry about now, before he interrupted. “And don’t feed me any nonsense about bigger priorities. It’s something to do with mirrors, aye?”

 

_But I know the difference,_

_Between myself and my reflection._

_I just can't help but to wonder,_

_Which of us do you love._

 

“How did you… yeah.” She told the story, doing her best to explain how she’d felt about Other Emma over the course of her growing up and eventual breakdown. By the end, she was in tears. “And I swear, I don’t know if you love me or Other Emma, because I’m a mess, all the time, and she’s, like, this perfect person who’s happy and lovable and…”

 

“You know what, Swan?”

 

“What?”

 

“It’s you I love. Not… Other Emma, as you call her. You are real, and you are practical and soulful and inspiring and charismatic. Your reflection could never hope to be the woman you are.”

 

“I love you too,” she said, voice shaking. 

 

“Are you okay?”

 

“Better than okay.” A tearful smile wrinkled the corners of her eyes. 

 

“I’m glad.”


End file.
